ALICIA KEYS: BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME

Having just suffered through her new movie Smokin’ Aces, we have nothing but sympathy for Alicia Keys in her film debut. How she got her sweet self involved in this testosterone fueled mess of a movie is a mystery. The only women in this movie are hookers and she played the smartest of the lot. You can call it a satire or a comedy, but this movie is SO not funny, SO trite, and SO overacted, that sitting through it is pure torture. Toupeed Jeremy Piven’s out of-this-universe hammy performance (channeling Al Pacino in Scarface) will not soon be forgotten. The plot is all about macho men cursing, posturing, pushing women around, peeing, killing, and talking about each other’s genitalia. Sorry Alicia, but what they say about movies released in January is obviously right.

11 Comments so far

1. By Anonymous
   On January 25, 2007 at

   Yes, Piven wears a wig. If you look at his earlier films you can see that he was bald then, and suddenly…poof..now he has hair!

2. By Anonymous
   On January 25, 2007 at

   ok.
   but ryan reynolds is also in this film.
   i am obligated to see everything he is.
   my loins command me to do so.

3. By Belissa
   On January 25, 2007 at

   This movie is an utter disaster! I left midway through, as it was clear it was only getting worse. Piven’s toupe is so VISIBLY bad, and his performance so ridiculous, you’d think he’d be embarrassed. From ELLEN to this! Right about movies released in January!

4. By Hedda Bopper
   On January 25, 2007 at

   Alicia Keys is so nothing to me.She acts,who cares?……Oh No!

5. By Hedda Bopper
   On January 25, 2007 at

   Alicia Keys is so nothing to me.She acts,who cares?……Oh No!

6. By Hedda Bopper
   On January 25, 2007 at

   Alicia Keys is so nothing to me.She acts,who cares?……Oh No!

7. By Bev
   On January 25, 2007 at

   Isnt she a huge lesbo?In the pic doesnt it look like shes smelling her fingers?she and rosie should do a remake of the odd couple.

8. By Vicki the Robot from Small Wonder
   On January 25, 2007 at

   Is her music career going that badly that shes now making these rotten movies? Maybe next time she will do a sexy vampire movie like the one vanity made.

9. By HollywoodInsider
   On January 26, 2007 at

   One of the worst movies ever made. Alicia is a sweetie though and so is Jeremy, even with his bad plugs. Look at an old repeat of ELLEN…he was nearly bald then.
   PS-Whatever happened to “Vicki the Robot from Smal Wonder?”

10. By spy
    On January 27, 2007 at

    I don’t get this one. Of course any movie starring the Pivert will probably suck. What were you expecting?

11. By Ifriday
    On February 1, 2007 at

    I am appalled that there are so many judgemental people in the world. I would like those of you with negative comments towards this young lady to search yourself and find your skeletons. Don’t forget, we all have fallen short, only thing is, she’s a celebrity making a living and trying to get to the next level and you are on the sidelines hating, probably broke. Alicia, keep doing you, I don’t know you personally but I feel in my heart that in spite of it all, that you are sweet spirited. Stay precious peace!

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