A DATE WITH ANDY
The National Enquirer is coming out with a hilarious story about a guy who calls himself John Arnold, who PICKED UP loony Andy Dick in a Hollywood nightclub. Arnold described Andy as “snorting cocaine like a vacuum cleaner” – yet they ended up in a Japanese restaurant together. John, trying to make the best of this odd date, was appalled when Andy “grabbed the waiter by the crotch and began kissing him on the face- the waiter fought off his advances.” Amazingly, Arnold nonetheless agreed to give Andy a ride home. On the way home Andy “saw a patrol car and pulled out a baggy of coke and tried to snort the entire contents at once.” When Arnold protested, Andy kicked and broke his windshield and punched him in the face before he took off running down the street. The hapless “date” reported the incident to the police – and hopefully to his own psychotherapist.