Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

David Hasselhoff took his daughters Hayley and Taylor to BOA steak house in West Hollywood and one of the girls did the driving. He LOOKS reasonably sober tonight – do you suppose that when his daughters complain about his drinking, he buys them Chanel bags?

Now it makes some sense. A highly inebriated (twice the legal limit) Rip Torn, 78, was found wandering around inside a Connecticut bank with a loaded gun in his pocket and his fly unzipped. Officers who came in response to the bank alarm found shoes and a hat by the back door, and broken glass next to the door. Torn didn’t understand why troopers showed up to arrest him and put him in handcuffs and kept asking WHY they were taking him away. Here’s the deal: The “Men in Black” star had been drinking at a bar near his home (he walks, since his DUI) and he was so wasted when he left that he mistook the bank for his house. The bank DOES look like a home – it’s in a two story colonial house with an attic. Torn took off his hat and boots at the back door and when his key wouldn’t work, he broke the glass to get in. When troopers arrived he still thought he was at home! He was charged with trespassing, burglary, and firearms counts, after spending the weekend in jail. Last we heard he’s off to rehab.

Did anyone REALLY expect a sweet, innocent girl with a spotless reputation to marry the notorious Charlie Sheen? It turns out Brooke Mueller has quite a drug and alcohol history of her own. She’s been arrested twice for cocaine and alcohol, and according to Radaronline.com, she went into rehab when she was five months pregnant with their twins! If the Sheens hadn’t fallen of the wagon together so violently on Christmas, this information might never have been revealed. Another reason for Denise Richards to do the “I told you so” dance.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

It’s ironic how David Hasselhoff’s kids try so hard to get him to ADMIT he’s an alcoholic, but he just continues to deny everything. He was hospitalized yet AGAIN Sunday when his 17 year old long suffering daughter Hayley blew the whistle on him. Apparently the “America’s Got >Talent” judge was out of control after guzzling vodka and Hayley called her mom who alerted 911. Her poor-excuse-for-a-father was rushed to the hospital, dried out, and released the next day, as usual. This time he came up with an excuse that he mixed ear infection medication with anabuse and got dizzy. Sure.

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We can’t help but think that Lindsay Lohan’s burglary has more than a little to do with her bad habits and the questionable company she keeps. A few weeks ago she was at the Roxy for a special event. She was described as “loud, boisterous, and completely THRASHED.” An eye witness told us “Lindsay traipsed back and forth to the bathroom constantly – sometimes holding hands with girlfriends.” Our spy walked in on her once and Lindsay was snorting white powder through a straw from the bar. During the evening Lindsay had her water bottle refilled with vodka from the bartender several times. When she left she had to be helped out the back door.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

“24” star Kiefer Sutherland has a new hangout- “The Association” – an underground hipster bar in downtown Los Angeles. He’s known for being a charming barfly and a big tipper. On his last visit Kiefer drank a full bottle of Dewars scotch. He confessed to a staffer that he was going to “smoke in the bathroom” and no one bothered him. Before he left, he assured an employee that he didn’t drive – “I’m not THAT dumb” he joked. Let’s hope he also gave up the head-butting.

Someone tried to convince the press that Mischa Barton was taken to the hospital because she had complications from wisdom tooth surgery. But this isn’t her first mysterious and sudden hospital visit (Remember she passed out at a BBQ two years ago) so everyone is assuming her predilection for indulging in controlled substances is responsible. Last we heard she was on involuntary psychiatric hold, which isn’t so surprising when you consider her rocker boyfriend Cisco Adler broke up with her because HE thought she partied too much.

We can’t imagine what Jesse McCartney was thinking when he stopped into the CVS pharmacy in Hollywood to purchase an alcoholic beverage. His female companion waited patiently while the clerk asked him for his ID and Jesse fumbled around and admitted he didn’t HAVE an ID! The most puzzling part of this is that Jesse IS 22 and legal. Jesse and his friend looked at each other and just walked out empty handed.