Crimes and Misdemeaners

PHIL SPECTOR SURRENDERED HIS CROWNING GLORY

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Phil Spector suffered the ultimate humiliation when he was checked into the Twin Towers prison in LA – his wig was confiscated. Spector seems to have been wearing wigs for much of his life and is never seen without one. He nonchalantly even chose to wear several different styles and colors to his two trials. It wasn’t until Lyle Menendez was forced to give up his wig that we realized that hairpieces were considered contraband in prison. We wonder if the wig will be returned to him so he can wear it to court for his sentencing. Come to think of it…those TEETH look rather fake too.

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PAUL MCCARTNEY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER

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Photo Credit: Splash News

Paul McCartney takes liberties when it comes to parking in LA. Not only did he parallel park his black sportscar backwards, facing traffic, but it was a red zone! He stopped to run an errand in West Hollywood and paparazzi poked fun at his “UK parking.” Paul didn’t get a ticket, but he jokingly warned photographers that if they followed him, they’d better drive safely. McCartney is in town for George Harrison’s Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony yesterday.

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GUILTY PHIL SPECTOR IS IN SHOCK

It’s been six years, but Lana Clarkson can rest in peace, at last. The revolting Phil Spector (whose excellent music has nothing to do with his demeanor) has been found guilty and faces a sentence of fifteen years to life for second degree murder. No one is more surprised than he is. He’s been getting away with close to murder for years, brandishing guns and terrorizing women and children. We’re betting he’s done nothing to prepare for this sentence because he really thought he could get away with murder. The world is a better place!

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TWO TRAGEDIES: FARRAH AND REDMOND

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Photo Credit: Splash News

Redmond O’Neal was photographed Saturday leaving St John’s hospital where he visited his mother Farrah Fawcett. Farrah recently returned from Germany looking frail after cancer treatments. Sadly, she is reportedly unconscious and the family has been gathering. Despite this tragic turn of events, Redmond managed to get arrested for drug possession yet again on Sunday morning and remains in jail. It looks like Farrah’s documentary “A Wing and a Prayer” will not have a happy ending.

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RICHARD BELZER'S DOG IS AN OCTOMOM

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Animal activist Richard Belzer, who promotes the adoption of homeless pets and has adopted two dogs of his own, has been accused of being an irresponsible dog owner. His female border collie mix Django was not spayed and according to sources in animal activism, he allowed her to mate with another dog in Central Park. She gave birth to eight puppies recently and now he has to scramble to find homes for them. Keep in mind that thousands of shelter dogs are killed every year because they cannot find homes. His fellow animal lovers are calling the “Law & Order” star a hypocrite and WORSE…

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SOMEBODY PLEASE STUFF A SOCK IN BERNIE MADOFF'S MOUTH

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Joe Queenan brilliantly summed up the absurdity of Ponzi scammer Bernard Madoff’s courtroom “apology” in the LA Times. Madoff admitted he had “deeply hurt many, many, people” and said “I cannot adequately express how sorry I am for what I have done.” The writer pointed out that Madoff couldn’t be THAT sorry because genuine contrition requires RESTITUTION. Madoff made NO effort to help the government locate any of the 60 billion dollars he allegedly stole, and REFUSES to identify his confederates. His vapid apology translates to: “I regret the distress I’ve caused, but I’m keeping the money. And leave my wife out of this.”
Let’s face it, most public apologies like his are just another insult to his victims.

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CHRIS BROWN SWEET TALKED HIMSELF BACK INTO RIHANNA'S LIFE AND P DIDDY PLAYED CUPID

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Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

It’s official – Rihanna has been brainwashed. Just as we figured might happen, she has forgiven Chris Brown. Chris had been violent BEFORE the Grammy beating, and she has apparently gotten used to it. According to People mag, they are together in Florida at a house owned by P Diddy. Why Diddy is sticking his nose into this, we don’t know. Chris convinced Rihanna that it was HER fault for MAKING him mad and he lost control because he loves her SO much. Really. The worst may be yet to come.

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WE TOLD YOU SO!

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Photo: TMZ
TMZ finally posted a picture of Rihanna revealing her bruises right after the “incident” and it clearly shows exactly what we told you– she has two black eyes and broken teeth. (We’re betting the teeth have already been fixed.) Also remember, OUR source revealed exclusively that this wasn’t the first time Chris Brown abused her.

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WE WOULDN'T WANT TO BE IN CHRIS BROWN'S SHOES

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Photo Credit: Buzz Foto

Jay-Z is MAD. He was out last night without Beyonce and he was in a dour mood. Not surprising, since new and appalling details about his protege Rihanna’s condition continue to trickle out. The beating she took from Chris Brown was far worse than first reported – now there are also rumors that she has kidney damage. It’s understood among the hip hop crowd that Chris Brown’s career is OVER.

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RIHANNA'S FAMILY TO CHRIS BROWN: DON'T CALL OR TEXT!

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Photo Credit: Splash News

These are the seats at the Grammys that were reserved for Rihanna and Chris Brown. Rihanna’s family is hoping they will never see Chris Brown’s face again, after he beat up Rihanna. The two families are trying to keep Chris and Rihanna as far apart as possible. For legal reasons, Chris’s family doesn’t want him contacting her. And Rihanna’s family is terrified that Chris will beg for forgiveness – using those old lines “I lost control because I love you” and “It’s your fault – you made me do it.” They’re scared that after the dust settles and bruises heal, she might LISTEN.

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