Rumors

JUDD NELSON IS NO LONGER SLEEPING ON LAWNS

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Photo: Gregg Klein
That rumor about the death of Judd Nelson that circulated on Twitter this weekend seemed entirely plausible when you think about his boozy druggy history. Back in the late 80’s or early 90’s a woman in the valley called us up and said “This morning I found a motorcycle in my front yard and Judd Nelson sleeping on the grass next to it.” She was laughing and apparently Judd eventually staggered to his feet and drove off. The Breakfast Club star, now 55, was living large in those days but he’s calmed down and actually has several movies in the can. We love that his agent rushed to his house and took this unflattering photo with the front page of the LA Times to prove Judd is alive.

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FOR THE LAST TIME, TOM CRUISE IS NOT GAY!

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July is a slow month for gossip, and The National Enquirer knows that stories implying that Tom Cruise is gay sell lots of magazines, so they revisit the subject as often as possible. This time around they’re grasping at straws by quoting The New York Times. The newspaper reviewed a book called “The Actress” and surmised that a main character – a closeted gay actor – was based on Tom Cruise. Naturally, they assume that Tom is upset over the whole thing. Indeed, Tom has always taken legal action against gay accusations and won. The fact is HE IS NOT GAY! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) Yes, he’s a Scientologist and he’s had three unsuccessful marriages, but there has never been a scrap of genuine evidence that he is gay. He’s a decent guy, a little uncomfortable with women, and sometimes socially awkward, but he is straight. Isn’t picking on him for being a Scientologist ENOUGH?

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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HEIDI KLUM WOULD RATHER EAT A CARL’S JR SIX DOLLAR BURGER THAN TAKE SEAL BACK

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It was quite a jolt when we heard that rumor that Heidi Klum and Seal were back together, but we doubted it from the get-go. It just made no sense. Heidi and her bodyguard boyfriend Martin Kristen recently called it quits in a civilized manner and as far as we know she’s only had one date with playboy Vito Schnabel. (And one is enough.) While their divorce was somewhat messy, Heidi and Seal are always cordial for the sake of the children. Both of them have gone on with their lives and have no intention of looking back.

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KATIE HOLMES AND JAMIE FOXX: MOST IMPROBABLE STORY OF THE WEEK

We find the rumor that Katie Holmes is having an affair with Jamie Foxx laughable. The LAST thing Katie wants to do is upset her ex-husband Tom Cruise because Jamie is HIS friend. Tom isn’t giving Katie a hard time about custody of their daughter Suri, and Katie wants to keep it that way. It’s also highly doubtful that Jamie would hook up with his friend Tom’s ex-wife. (Tom and Jamie costarred in “Collateral”) So they both have very good reasons for NOT hooking up and judging by past behavior, neither seems to be each other’s “type.”

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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KRIS HUMPHRIES HAS NOTHING BUT PITY FOR LAMAR ODOM

Kris Humphries, who was briefly married to Kim Kardashian, you will recall, has jumped on the “Lamar is being set up” bandwagon. Kris thinks a lot of negative and inaccurate drug speculation has been ‘leaked” by the Kardashians to websites and tabloids and it could ruin Lamar’s NBA career. (For example, Lamar was never really “missing” or suspected of being on a crack cocaine drug binge.) According to RadarOnline, Kris is not a friend of Lamar’s, but he remembers being targeted the same way and going through “tabloid hell” when he was divorcing Kim. Kris says “There should be a support group for former boyfriends and husbands of the Kardashians.”

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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DON’T COUNT ON A MICHAEL DOUGLAS / CATHERINE ZETA-JONES DIVORCE ANYTIME SOON

We’re curious to see if this rumor about Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones’s marriage collapsing has any truth to it. After all, the story originated in Star magazine. Of course with all the problems this couple has been having, it’s entirely plausible. Star says Michael is weary of Catherine’s mood swings and substance abuse. (After having throat cancer, we’re guessing it’s no fun to watch your wife drink and smoke.) But, and it’s a big BUT, Catherine DID nurse Michael back to health when he had cancer, and he can’t forget that. Also, does he really want to be single at 68? No matter how rocky things get, we’ll be very surprised if they divorce.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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HEY BEYONCE – WHO ARE YOU CALLING A “LOW LIFE?”

Haunted by pregnancy rumors that seem more accurate every day, Beyonce instagrammed an unpleasant retort to the members of the press doing the speculating:
She said “I can’t stop the rumors from starting, and I can’t really change peoples minds who believe them, all I can do is sit back and laugh at these low life people who have nothing better to do than talk about me,”
Well, EXCUUUUSE US, Beyonce, but who are you calling a low-life? These are the media people who give you incredible amounts of positive press and help to sell your music. There’s nothing insulting about assuming you might be pregnant, so why are you insulting us? Beyonce’s uncharacteristic crabbiness makes her pregnancy seem even more likely…

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MILEY CYRUS AND LIAM HEMSWORTH FINISHED? NOT ON YOUR LIFE!

Everybody seems to be jumping on the news that Miley Cyrus, 20, and her fiancé Liam Hemsworth, 23, have split, but all you have to do is look at their history and it becomes apparent that it’s NOT over. They’ve had a number of break-ups, but always drift back together. Problem is, they’re both really YOUNG, and Miley likes to party far more than Liam. That’s what 20 year old girls do. Liam avoids nightclubs and is surprisingly more of a homebody. Right now he’s with his family in Australia. This couple is not getting along and they are on a break, but you can bet their relationship has more steam left in it.

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THAT’S A RELIEF: LEANN RIMES SAYS SHE’S DEFINITELY NOT PREGNANT

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Star Magazine figured that since LeAnn Rimes has been looking healthier, it was time to haul out the “she’s pregnant” rumors. After all, it’d been awhile since they had seen a photograph of LeAnn with a drink in her hand. Best of all, the news would probably incite Brandi Glanville to let loose a barrage of unfiltered commentary. Unfortunately, LeAnn was able to deny the rumor before it became an issue. Certainly it isn’t a great time for her to have a baby anyway, with all her emotional problems.

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JENNIFER ANISTON IS STILL SMART- BUT NOT PREGNANT

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For the umpteenth time, Jennifer Aniston is still NOT pregnant! She’s going about her business as usual and was seen on the Paramount lot filming a SmartWater commercial. Observers say she is definitely NOT expecting. Her last SmartWater ad made fun of all the rumors about her hair, pregnancy, workouts, etc. It’s HILARIOUS – If you haven’t seen it, take a look above.

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