Crack for Babies

This newlywed bride is absolutely DESPERATE to get pregnant. She’s been having fertility treatments, but the result so far has only been a miscarriage. Family is very important to her and she feels a baby is the only thing her marriage lacks. What’s her problem? Her problem isn’t WEIGHT – she’s not abnormally thin. Her problem isn’t AGE – she’s still in her thirties. Her problem isn’t her HUSBAND- he’s functioning normally. Her problem is her addiction to crack.

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Posted by Janet on October 21, 2006

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  1. By Laura
    On October 22, 2006 at

    Totally J-lo

  2. By Anonymous
    On October 22, 2006 at

    Hey, Laura: at first I couldn’t think of anything for this one, but I like your guess. It fits all of the clues (e.g. fit but not too skinny; 30s; newlywed; etc.).

  3. By Anonymous
    On October 22, 2006 at

    JLO and crack? I don’t believe it..she is not skinny enough or hung over looking enough..

  4. By chrissy
    On October 22, 2006 at

    Pam Anderson?

  5. By Rosie O'Dykel
    On October 22, 2006 at

    But what type of crack? Maybe Janet means that she’s a DYKE and allergice to female CRACK!

  6. By Tom Looser
    On October 22, 2006 at

    Gotta be Nicole Kidman.

  7. By Anonymous
    On October 22, 2006 at

    IMO,
    Nicole Kidamn is abnormally thin.
    And it has been revealed her husband is in treatment for cocaine addiction.
    Nicole Kidman does not quite fit the profile for this BI.

  8. By Ban
    On October 22, 2006 at

    I think it’s Rebecca Grayhart. She’s married to McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy, in her 30s, etc. She has that crack whore look.

  9. By Anonymous
    On October 22, 2006 at

    It is Sandra Bullock…just ask the folks in TX about her drug prob. Sad but true.

  10. By shores4now
    On October 22, 2006 at

    Not Sandra Bullock, she is 42 years old..

  11. By Anonymous
    On October 22, 2006 at

    Marcia Cross

  12. By Anonymous
    On October 23, 2006 at

    LOL Marcia’s pregnant with twins!

  13. By Anonymous
    On October 23, 2006 at

    It is NOT J Lo. She doesn’t even touch alchohol, I doubt she’s into crack.

  14. By Anonymous
    On October 23, 2006 at

    It’s Pamela Anderson. She and Kid Rock are trying to get pregnant.

  15. By Anonymous
    On October 23, 2006 at

    Sandra Bullock is a delicious guess, but I tend to think it’s Pam Anderson. She has totally rocked the crackhead look for years now. I remember when she stripped down to nothing on SNL years ago – the first thing I thought was “She’s gotta lay off the coke.”

  16. By Anonymous
    On October 23, 2006 at

    It’s gotta be Mrs. Robert Ritchie a.k.a Pamela Anderson.

  17. By anonymous
    On October 24, 2006 at

    I don’t think it’s Pam Andersen. My guess is Patricia Arquette. I think the DESPERATLEY was a clue – indicating someone from Desperate Housewives – no one there, although her sister, Rosanna Arquette, is on another TV show on the same network (What About Brian). She was also in Desperatley Seeking Susan. Patricia is not overly skinny, a newlywed, and in her 30’s.

  18. By Anonymous
    On October 24, 2006 at

    Star Jones, without a doubt!

  19. By Anonymous
    On October 24, 2006 at

    Don’t Patricia and her husband already have a kid?

  20. By Anonymous
    On October 24, 2006 at

    Yes, they have a kid and she is in her 40s.

  21. By Anonymous
    On October 25, 2006 at

    Claire Forlani – just married to Dougray Scott, who plays Ian on Desparate Housewives.

  22. By stating the obvious
    On October 25, 2006 at

    it has got to be J Lo — of all the guesses above, she is the only one still in her 30’s. Just because she doesn’t drink – don’t assume she ain’t doin crack! It is a well known fact that she wants to be pregnant more than anything and we all know Marc has several kids already with other women – therefore, problem is J-Lo!!!

  23. By Anonymous
    On October 25, 2006 at

    Janet didn’t say it was as actress maybe it could be Rachel Ray. She may be a little chubby but don’t you figure after all these years
    a fixing yummy stuff she be a huge heffer!

  24. By Anonymous
    On October 25, 2006 at

    Janet didn’t say it was as actress maybe it could be Rachel Ray. She may be a little chubby but don’t you figure after all these years
    of fixing yummy stuff she be a huge heiffer!

  25. By Anonymous
    On October 25, 2006 at

    Rachel Ray and her husband don’t want any kids.

  26. By Anonymous
    On October 25, 2006 at

    Check out this link that supports J.Lo as the one…
    it’s the blog “A Socialite’s Life” from April 2006
    http://socialitelife.com/2006/04/03/rumor_mill_did_kimora_lee_simmons_buy_a_hollywood_hills_home.php

  27. By Anonymous
    On October 25, 2006 at

    Check out this link that supports J.Lo as the one…
    it’s the blog “A Socialite’s Life” from April 2006
    http://socialitelife.com/2006/04/03/rumor_mill_did_kimora_lee_simmons_buy_a_hollywood_hills_home.php

  28. By Anonymous
    On October 25, 2006 at

    J Lo has been married for a couple years, that is not a newly wed.
    Pam looks the part and just got married.

  29. By Anonymous
    On October 26, 2006 at

    Marcia Cross

  30. By Anonymous
    On October 26, 2006 at

    There was an article in one of the tabloids this week saying that Nicole Kidman was going for fertility treatment or something.

  31. By WendyInDC
    On October 26, 2006 at

    It’s NOT Patricia Arquette b/c she was NOT in Desperately Seeking Susan — her sister Rosanna Arquette was.

  32. By Anonymous
    On October 26, 2006 at

    I agree that it is claire forlani. she has that look.

  33. By Anonymous
    On October 26, 2006 at

    Avril Lavine or Christina Augeliera?

  34. By jrex
    On November 8, 2006 at

    Who is Claire Forlani? Desperately is obviously a clue, come on. But who?

  35. By Anonymous
    On November 10, 2006 at

    I just read that Pam Anderson recently miscarried… hmmm

  36. By SAH Mom
    On November 20, 2006 at

    Pam Anderson…she recently miscarried, her weight isn’t the problem (if you count those two water wings she stores on her chest), and she wants kids.

  37. By Anonymous
    On December 8, 2006 at

    It’s totally J.Lo.

  38. By Anonymous
    On January 5, 2007 at

    Pam Anderson already has children!

  39. By Anonymous
    On March 11, 2007 at

    Anna Nicole Smith

  40. By Janet Buttimer
    On March 25, 2007 at

    Did Brittany Murphy ever get a guy – any guy – to accept payola and marry her? My daughter and me can’t stand her
    Now SHE is crack. And a BM.

  41. By madmadgrrl
    On May 10, 2007 at

    Desperate???
    Its clearly: Eva Long-HO.
    The National Enq. even states this week she has gone so far as to build a nursery in her dressing room.
    Sounds like wishful, crackhead thinking…

  42. By Anonymous
    On May 30, 2009 at

    Eva Longoria

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